Musing from a contemplative mind....

Last night we had this 11 year old little girl stay with us.  Her name is Cynthia, she and her older sister are soon going have to say good-bye to their mother, Jackie.  Jackie is a six-something woman who smoked all of her life, ten years ago she had cancer, apparently she had a relapse.  Two weeks ago we were told she had 6 to 12 months, yesterday the doctors changed the prognosis to 1-2.  I was driving Cynthia to school and we were taking about her mom's pain.  (her cancer has spread from her breast to her lung, to her brain, to her spinal cord) She knew her mama was in pain, but she didn't know why.  More importantly she didn't know what lies ahead.  When I was in graduate school I took a class on death, dying a bereavement, I even read a book on grief as a family process.  I guess when I read I didn't project myself in the moment I will be in shortly.  How do you sit down and talk with children about their mom dying.  Especially there is no dad around.  Amazingly some friends of theirs are moving up to live in the house and raise the children.  I also know many people in our church community plan to help out as well. 

I guess, without a material miracle of God we will find out if a village can raise a child....

Be busy and know that tasks are God.  Busyness is a taskmaster who's task is to give you more tasks.  People feel great when they accomplish something, not when they are still.  Have you ever asked someone why, they often will say, its because they feel accomplished.  When did an accomplishment become a feeling?   Cutting the lawn, completing a degree program, taking care of your taxes.  But Stillness glorifies our creator, not just getting things done.

 The western world we live in doesn't appreciate stillness.  People who stop to smell the roses are often ridiculed as unable to embrace progress and become productive.  I suppose there is nothing wrong with being productive, we need to use our time well.    What if being a kind person who is loving, generous and compassionate was perceived as a productive life.  This takes me back to the stillness thing.   Stillness to me needs to be penetrated with noise and chatter and discussion of some kind.  Stillness is paralyzing to me.  It requires something of me I am not always able to give.  Stillness.

I suppose when we can't create, move or improve is when we are in a place to see God. 

So I was talking to this guy who was telling me about his clock hobby.  He has 100 clocks from all around the world.  He begins telling me he works on clocks to relax and kill time.  I point out the irony of this by saying, you do realize you work on time pieces to get away from time pressures....

So I have lost a friend I am told. I made reference to their community as a suggestable group. Rather addressing me regarding this offense, this individual decides to "punish" me by cutting off our relationship. It's amazing how  years of relationship can be ended by one wrong comment.

Proverbs says a friend is born for adversity. I guess you find who your friends are when you offend.  Until there is adversity in a relationship you don't know what you have. 

A true friend or just a person of spatial convenience.  Only time will tell.

So Sunday at 10:30 Am our church goes on the radio.  Its 94.9 if you in the Keene, NH area.  A week ago we had a "tape" ministry.  Now we podcasting on iTunes and broadcasting on the radio.  What a difference a week makes.

This Friday I was talking with a friend of mine who used to be part of our church.  I call it talking but really it was just a verbal berating from her.  She heard a rumor about a decision we made and she was all upset about it.  She eviscerated me and my wife for about 10 minuets.  I was in the company of other people, so I kept my cool.  I have really long fuse.  In fact, very few people have ever seen me more than miffed.  What disappointed me most was she didn't even ask what really happened, or why we did it.  She just assumed that she knew the facts.  This morning I had my mental voodoo doll out with visions of pins in her head, when the Scripture came into my mind, bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you.  I don't like that scripture.  I suppose that scripture is just fine and dandy when no one is assailing your character and your motives, I can pray for the idiot that cuts me off in Montreal (sometimes) but can I pray for someone who wants to hurt me.  I came to the quick conclusion the answer is no.  I can't.  Being a Christ-Follower means I leap with out a net, and praying for someone I genuinely feel hatred for is that kind of leap.  I guess this is my attempt and being like Christ.

If he can pray on the cross I can pray in my office chair.