Musing from a contemplative mind....

I am in the midst of doing some really heavy duty reading and questioning some of the presuppositions of my theology. Not about core beliefs about whether or not Jesus Christ is the son of God or if Christ rose from the dead, that stuff is settled. I don't have any doubt about those things. But I am now really starting to question the position of Calvinism vs. Armenianism. The reason this is hard is that I am not comfortable with the information I am finding. But is that a reason for belief? Or non-belief? That is ridiculous. If I only believe that which I understand and or agree with, then take away my car, shut down the power in my house, in fact take away the house itself, since I really don't understand how the huge log that hangs 10 feet above my bed doesn't just break loose and fall right on top of me. If I only believe that which I agree with, then I really perceive that I am the standard by which all other truths and concepts must be made. Just ask my friends and those that know me, that is just not the case.

So is it election or free will, my choice or God's plan? Or maybe its some hybrid of those, or maybe its something that transcends both of those. The Bible tells us in Hebrews that while we are here on earth that we see through a glass - dimly (hyperbolic for we won't understand everything or get all of the answers to our questions). That can be used as an excuse for some to just sit back idly and not think or pursue God. But I want to brighten the dimness at the very least. The only saving grace is that most don't really understand Calvinism, or its core concepts, cause if they did, they I think a lot of people would be really ticked off at what I am entertaining.


...but that too, is not the motivation for belief.